Wednesday, 28 July 2010

I walked through this day
a ghost
to those around me
not there


bazza said...

Ouch! That sounds like a bad day. It must be therapeutic to have a place to express emotions that might otherwise show up as migraines, ulcers and suchlike!

Brian said...

Funny how different readers are affected by a poem. bazza finds this one disturbing whereas I find invisibility and going about "there/not there" delightful.

Devika said...

Again, "there, not there" is too familiar Paul...But likening it to ghost was rather ghastly :)

And in fact i too like the dissolving in the crowd process :)


Frank said...

A very evocative tanka, Paul. I ilke this one a lot...

Paul Smith said...

bazza, Brian, Devika, Frank thank you all for dropping by and leaving your comments.

Your comments underline one of the reasons that short poetry has such great power...

'Dreaming Room' is what American Denis Garrison (Editor & Publisher at Modern English Tanka Press)calls it.

That so few words are used to paint a picture / tell a story means that the reader is an essential part of the poetic process. The reader encounters the poem from their own unique place (coloured by their personal experiences) and fills in the blanks (Dreaming Room) left by the poet.

That a brief 5 line poem can speak so many things to so many people is evidenced by the comments here and elsewhere at Paper Moon.

I value your comments greatly. Very often my own poems open up in new and unexpected ways when I read the comments here. It is a mutual sharing, that inspires and breathes life into often dusty bones.

Thank you All!

Devika said...

"It is a mutual sharing, that inspires and breathes life into often dusty bones."

You put it so elegantly well, Paul :)


Seemu said...

That's lovely Paul! Thanks to Bazza I found your blog.

Paul Smith said...

Thanks again Devika & welcome to you Seemu, thank you for dropping by.